The Life – Mr. Hko

*YOU CAN’T ESCAPE YOUR DEEDS*

A lot of people in this world are in their current dispositions or situations in life due to disappointment, betrayal, wickedness, or deceit they suffered or are suffering from the unthoughtful actions of others. What makes the pain excruciating, is that, those who cause such pains used to be the most loved and trusted. *_The Truth of the matter is that, the universe or the vast cosmos is not a straight line, such that actions keep going without reverse. It’s a circle. When a glass of dirty water is placed beside you in a circle and you run as far as possible away from the glass, you shall surely come under it somehow as the spinning of the circle takes place and it (the glass) surely will pour that nasty content on top of your head. That is same with our evil deeds towards others. We can’t just escape the “nasty consequence” of those deeds when it’s time_* 

*if you admit deep down that you have caused someone real pains in life by your selfish actions  you must know and do these:*

1. You are reading this _First Step_ because you admit you have seriously injured another with serious betrayal and dishonesty which has placed them in a very dire situation in life. To admit one’s fault is the first step to freedom.

2. Know that you need the spirit of endurance, rather than the spirit of freedom, because you are sure to experience some scorches of the fire you had set. You need endurance. Meditate and Pray for such endurance.

3. Know that the person you have put in such life-threatening mess may be lacking. Whatever they lack, pay back in full. If it’s emotional, then don’t relent until you see them happy once more; It’s time to pay back everything in full.

4. Seek for forgiveness. First of all from God, and then the victim. Forgive first yourself and earnestly seek for theirs. Don’t stop until they have forgiven you. Yes, don’t stop. There is always a way. Find it.

5. Don’t ever take people for granted. At least, “a stitch in time, saves nine” Don’t go about giving empty promises, betraying people, slandering them or peddling falsehood about others. Never play  with people’s emotions. Completely Change that evil direction of Life.

*_If you are going through extremely hard times in life due to someone, please remember these:*

1. You should admit that you are liable to hurt others too and so try and  focus on gathering the pieces together amd move on. Moving on means don’t keep on suffering that evil memory but live in the present and give genuine people the chance to prove their worth. You deserve to live.

2. Know that “We are all effects and consequences; no one causes anything”. Those who hurt us might have done that due to their weakness and situations. They might just be victims of circumstances.

3. Pray for both the spirit of endurance and freedom. You need them to thrive on.

4. Forgive them and never revenge. The revenge makes us like them, and their wickedness towards us become null and void in so many ways.

5. Don’t blame them or for anything if possible. Draw lessons from that and move on. Keep distance from those bales and never again be seen on their path. Learn hard lessons for the future.

The Journey of Life is so pathetic, such that, we want to sing, play, laugh and love throughout the ride. Even with that, we do those, with pains throughout. Hence, we never want to hurt another for no reason! Be extra mindful of how you treat anyone. Remember, you are just a tiny insignificant speck in the space of the entire cosmos and you shall extinguish quickly by hurting others. Let love and sincerity be our crest for life.

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)
Facebook: HK Ocran
Web: hkodaily.health.blog

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Patience and Silence are some of the most powerful ways of dealing with complex situations of life.
When “Patience and Silence” are mentioned, surprisingly, the wrong intent and power are conveyed, even by some mentors and counsellors, who often send across to the mentee or client that these two elements (Patience and Silence) basically involve “complete shutting down of all activities, plans, moves and intentions, and crown it with being mute and calm.” _So when you hear, ” be Patient and Silent” it often conveys the notion of inactiveness and watching, while events unfold. Typically with silence, it is taught that the lips should be kept closed without uttering a word during situations._ These are the erroneous meanings we have made from these two crucial elements of life and it is quite unfortunate. *No wonder people wait (patience) and nothing happens or keep quiet (Silent) and they are misconstrued or taken for granted* These are artificial and adulterated understanding of these two elements.

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There are enormous, never-ending and serious activities involved with these two crucial processes or dispensations. When one is in the mood of Patience or Silence, there is a heavy-duty of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual activities which take place in order to practice them and unleash their full potency successfully. The following should be critically considered:
In the case of “Patience” , While you are being patient and waiting, you need to put your psycho and inner mechanisms into series of preparations and alertness. You should be fully conscious of the “waiting process”, while sometimes even involving in physical activities to that effect. For example, if food is being served, and you are told to be patient, you don’t just lay back and wait; No. Perhaps you have to make some serious preparations to wait, like clearing your throat, getting your bowls ready, and keeping your head up. These are serious mental and physical activities with no dulling moments in the period of waiting and patience.
With regard “Silence”, it is not keeping the mouth shut. Silence transcends keeping the mouth shut. *Silence is simplicity and meditation* Simplicity employs the use of “economy of words” where only few or a couple of words are uttered during seemingly serious and heightened conversations. Those few words are sparingly and purposefully uttered to touch special needs of the conversation. Silence is also a period of meditation and calmness. It involves keenly listening (with all mental faculties active) and examining the spirit behind whatever is being said to grasp the full import of the conversation, without necessary giving a replay ( you may intermittently reply with few words).

Essentially, “Patience and Silence” involves work than any physical job or life process; don’t treat them with sheer redundancy and inactiveness. Unleash the full power and potency of Patience and Silence to make them useful to you.

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)
Facebook: HK Ocran
Web: hkodaily.health.blog

Koenzanews.com

“A village couple sat under a big fig tree one fine afternoon, chattering at the comfort of their home. The woman said, ” we seriously need a househelp and preferably a male.” The man, with a long face replied, ” That’s ridiculous, what happened to all those female househelps!? “. The argument went on and on and it turned into a serious banter, even resulting in breaking of ribs. There was a subsequent separation.

From the incident above, we realize that all what each is saying are just suggestions, ideas or hypothesis. Non of the ideas has taken place yet. Why then should there be bloodshed of an event which has not taken place? This is true about Fears and Insecurity. Most often than not, most of our misery, anger, agitations and anxieties are just an illusion and a part of our brains; they are not the reality. We usually suffer what has happened already or what is possible to happen tomorrow, with no concrete evidence of those things happening. We should learn to enjoy life fully in the present moment. The couple (especially the man) could have simply applied wisdom, kept quiet and even do his bidding at the end of the day, without angrily involving in “the back and forth” with the wife. As a man, “keep quiet and do anyway, rather than argue”.

Most of our problems are just imaginations. If we could take charge of our imagination (memory) we would realize that all those negative tendencies, that divide families and empires are just mere figments of one’s imagination.”

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)
Facebook: HK Ocran
Web: hkodaily.health.blog

Fear, insecurity, jealousy and uncontrolled anger are serious symptoms of the effects of deep wounds we develop during the course of our life. So many of us have been seriously betrayed, back-bited, disappointed and exploited by people whom we extremely trusted. Once, upon a time, you used to be so loving, understanding, and caring. What changed? The very people you could even die for, were the very ones who yearned for your “obituary” to be read and embarrassment to clothe you. *_Such wounds of trust leave deep scars in our hearts and memory, which tend to be chronic_*. Those wounds become like a stench that pollutes and blinds every aspect of our existence; presently, and yet to come – it really stinks with mistrust, fear and insecurity.
Every experience we have had in life are so indespensable for our growth. *Life is an aggregate of experiences, that define us and often make us the best of today and the future*
That chapter of our life (wounded chapter), needs to be closed totally, before we open a different one. If wounds are not fully healed, its scorn, is carried forward and blocks the joy of today and tomorrow. Typically, after a failed romantic relationship, it is prudent to wait appreciably and heal of fear, mistrust and insecurity to have full confidence to face the next one. _Never force your wounds on others and infect them too with those wounds; they might afterall be Innocent_.
Instead of allowing wounds of yesterday to blind and pollute our reality of the present, endeavor to treat today as a fresh start. In fact, each day of our life is a fresh start. Everything of yesterday and tomorrow are nothing but a dream; an illusion. *Your only reality in life is the present.* With this wisdom, you won’t miss the good qualities in people and situations as you don’t judge them through the lenses of the wounds and pains of life.
Heal your wounds to experience the fragrance and bliss of Life. Life is beautiful; your bitterness is just a little part of your memory (of yesterday). Don’t tire out in doing good and treating each one different. Transcend from anger and resentment. Understand that those who had hurt you, had their own reasons, difficulties or problems, so forgive them. *Harbouring hate and grudge against those who hurt us is like drinking poison, and expecting another person to die.* Measure the way you allow things to get too much to you. Be free from all hurtful memories. Heal your wounds by the following;

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1. You want to be happy, and with people around you. So as much as possible, turn a new page of the sheet. See everyone as different.

2. Meditate often and practice calmness to sieve any toxic memory.

3. Those who hurt you have weaknesses and a facing their own problem.

4. Finally, Know that you become sharpened and experienced with every happening in life. Take them as an advantage.

Remember; Heal your wounds, step out from that stench and experience the sweet fragrance of people and situations presently disposed to you.

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)
Facebook: HK Ocran
Web: hkodaily.health.blog
Koenzanews.com

Striving excessively, sacrificing the very life itself to get somewhere in life is by far the most pitiful situation a man could be in, in life. He is from nowhere, so where possibly is he going? Nowhere.
You just happen from the earth and you vanish into the earth. That is why it is believed that the earth is our mother. Our human mothers are representatives. That is why we are only fed by our original mother, the earth – it produces (yields) variety of foods for our nourishment. So, as you begin, you already ended. You begin the process to vanish (of death) as soon as you were born. Your whole life, essentially, is to complete that process (of death). “That is the ultimate task of man, the more seriously and hastily you do it, the quickly, and smoothly you accomplish it (the process of death) and the more relaxed and enjoyable you do it, the delay, ruggedly and lazily you finish.” How do you want to complete the process (task of life)? We are heading towards such tragedy, so Why make life too serious, bitter or painful for yourself and others? Our only identity is associated with the earth (the soil) so that is our home; our destination. You possibly lived in your mother’s womb and you remember nothing at all from that world. This whole world is another dimension as in the womb. You are just living in a space to be forgotten eternally.
So, why being dramatic with life in memory and in reality? Everything is a dream. Don’t take away that smile that would vanish soon from you and from others. Give all to you and to all. Don’t be worried if you are tagged stupid by living to put smiles all over. Actually, those commentators miss the very essence of life. Bigger, more accomplished and more sophisticated people than they (the commentators) ever lived. Where are they? Nowhere.

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)

Facebook: HK Ocran
Web: hkodaily.health.blog
Koenzanews.com

You might have studied so many propounded theories that humans’ needs are unlimited, and that, the more we get, the more we purge blood and sweat to get more and more.
Better, still, you know this for a fact, because you are human too and you realize always that, nothing seems to give you absolute pleasure, comfort or happiness. Nothing really makes you happy, at least not for long, no matter how many or how much you toil to amass _Yes, nothing would make you absolutely happy, because deep within your heart, is an obscured being who is always unhappy, until you learn its ways_
At least if you have a physical problem, that you are able to identify,  you would do your best to solve them. Unlike physical problems, the “sad man” is nowhere to be found in our heart. No matter how happy you become, it remains sad. “As you feed your heart with happiness, it starves, because it doesn’t allow the food of happiness to reach it – that is its intrinsic make-up; It is always sad. For instance, you want the most delicious food to eat. You get it, finish it, and yet you are marginally happy. You don’t really feel happy afterall. Again, you work hard for a particular spouse and after you get them, and probably get the best of them, your candle of happiness dims and you are no longer really enthused about them or everything. You even ask yourself, ” Now I have him or her, what else? Same could be said about things. All these are because of “the sad man” embedded deep within your heart and sadly nowhere to be found. If care is not taken, you can never be happy or content with anything no matter how precise, or no matter the quantity you get of what you wanted.

How then can you find and feed the sad man with some dose of happiness?

The puzzle is, how can you deal with something you can’t find or see?

Ignoring or pretending it is not present isn’t the best option. Why? Because it will sadden you anyway, at least in the long run.

This is what you can do.
Psychologically, the more we shrink back from pain or discomfort, the more severe it becomes on us. Conversely, the more we accept and endure pain, the easier we swim in it.

*For instance, if it is raining and you don’t get severely troubled by it and even strip your clothes and bathe in it, would the rain matter or be a worry to you? No. Why? Because you are happy with the discomfort and even bathing in it regardless.*

_So is the sad man. It should be left to be sad, while we rejoice in it_. What it means is that, we can’t fight him, we just allow it to be there in our heart, while we still enjoy it. If it becomes sad, be happy still with what you desired for or worked hard for. _Treat it as somewhat a deception, rather than non-existent._ Accept it while you still be happy.

*_Contentment is just a little aspect of appeasing the sad man per this discussion. Why? Because contentment can prove itself to be a form of consideration, while suffering lingers, it’s a variable; a fickle, and not organized enough to withstand the operations of the sad man._*

Beyond contentment, the total recognition and  acceptance of the sad man anyway, in times of happiness just like dancing in the rain and enjoying regardless, is what can compensate the sad man for as long as possible. The longevity of our acceptance of him is the tragedy, so, the sad man remains a puzzle and a sorrow in our hearts.

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)
Facebook: HK Ocran
Instagram: mr._hko
Web : hkodaily.health.blog
Koenzanews.com

We are programmed subconsciously (partly due to the spirit of competition and self-centeredness) to feel that the base is broad, and made up of the mass and those with sprouting aspiration, newbies, surbodibates, the dependents, novice, mediocres and so on and so forth, while the very top is very narrow and reserved for the best, the boss, the champion, the accomplished. This is a misconception and breeds the spirit of pull-him-down syndrome, since the very top is too narrow to accommodate many others. Hence, we endeavor to even “spill blood” to attain the very “peak of the cone of success” Make a picturesque of this conical hierarchy and you would finally understand why the saying goes that, “the top feels narrow and lonely”. How could it feel lonely and cold if actually we turned the cone upside down? So that if you are not ready to move in unison, teamwork, cooperation, and respect and discipline you won’t reach the top? What stops that?
Real success is the joy we all feel, not the one you only feel. Yes you could be at the top, but since you haven’t helped anyone be there or a little closer, or you pull down and suppress people from achieving their own top-reaching-goals, you are not there yet! The moment you become content and climb up there alone, that is where loneliness and coldness grip you in the neck and choke you! How beautiful would it be if all of us succeeded! Yes, together we can all succeed, hand-held. Let us turn the cone (pyramid) of success upside down and make the very top as warm and as consultative as possible! That is real success and joy.

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)
Facebook: Hk Ocran
Instagram: mr._hko
Web : hkodaily.healtg.blog
Koenzanews.com

Time is not our friend; “it has never been on our side”, it can’t be bribed, persuaded or compromised. It is a judge (effect) of every sort of actions and inactions of every creature crawling, walking or flying in the universe – Time is the spirit of ‘Karma’. Time is so impatient that it does not pause to reflect or feel for us or events. It is a blind and deaf judge.

As we appreciate how indifferent and ruthless Time is, we never want to leave anything dear to us in the hands of Time (chance), not even our decision to die

Hence, the cliche, “Time will tell, is very dangerous for us, if we don’t whisper to Time what it should say”

We ought to do everything (in thoughts and in actions) by ourselves and let Time pass peacefully. We have to put in conscious work in achieving and producing. The duty of Time, is to create the atmosphere for us to work and achieve. Itself doesn’t do anything. It just looks on to reveal the effects of your activiness or redundancy; good or bad decisions; actions and inactions and so on The whole world would have still been empty, shapeless and desolate with darkness so thick you could hold it, if God just let Time pass by. We know and understand that God actually worked and brought everything into existence. Time would have just looked on.

Everything that happens is a consequence of how you have worked on/in and outside of yourself and situation.

When situations are beyond us, we take a deep breath and leave the rest to Faith not Fate (time) and then we do the rest, knowing very well what (who) Time is. We don’t leave everything in its care

Yes, we must do everything necessary in our lives before time does it for us ruthlessly and mercilessly.

Mr.Hko (Writer and Coach)

Facebook: HK Ocran
Instagram: mr._hko
Web: hkodaily.health.blog
Koenzanews.com

– Couple (Marriage or Courtship) Approach (Yet applicable in diverse dispensation of life) –

“For a fact, Listening is the only magic, which solves problems without actions.”
Solid relationships over centuries have been built due to effective Listening. However, majority/several others too, have been wrecked by dint of poor Listening; those relationships or conversations lacked “the magic”. Yes, there is a mystery (magic) to every success in life. For effective communication, the simple mystry is Listening.

Listening is not just being silent and hearing, No.

Well, there is a difference between Listening and Hearing and it is extremely important that we understand the meaning and disparity between the two, so that we could avoid conflicts, misinterpretations, insinuations, inter alia, in our relationships and strengthen love, respect and trust between our partners and us. Listening is of the conscious view to understand, the spirit and emotions of communication and perhaps act upon what (could be an information or report) you receive during discussions, while Hearing is just using the ear to receive an information (to show your presence, not attentiveness) without paying particular attention to the spirit and emotions behind what is being said.
Do you often ask your partner to repeat what she said two years ago? Or do you act in a way contrary to a discussion you had had with her? Or do you ask too many questions about talks you had about a decision or her problems. If your answers are Yes, then you weren’t Listening, you just were Hearing what ever she had to say.
This reduces the confidence and trust your partner has in you and it might even result in disrespect, because you are unreliable.
Women have so many needs and most of them are solved just by Listening, nothing else. Yes, Just that!
You need not to be quick in finding solutions to the problems your dates or your wife put before you. They just need a person to talk to and not solutions. Men (Mars) usually seek and love solutions; Women (Venus) do not necessary seek for solutions but empathy. So you see why listening abilities are a must in every successful relationship?
If you wish to change the way your wife perceives you, increase her sexual drive for you, boost respect and become in her mind the best man on earth, then listen to her.
That means that you do not interrupt her with your stories, your thoughts on what she just said, or by changing the subject or trying to chip in with solutions. Listen to her heart as well as her words, while appreciating the spirit and emotions behind what she says. As she talks, ask yourself, “What is she feeling as she tells me this?” “What is the background (spirit/emotions) of what she says?” Even more importantly, ask yourself, “What is the message she really wants me to hear?” Once she knows that you are genuinely interested in her views, thoughts, and feelings, you can actually be a great solace or comforter to her.
This one thing (just listening) can change you into a better husband or partner in one month: Each day, spend at least a half-hour just listening to your wife talk. Turn off the TV, cellphones, and radios. Find a place where there are no distractions, including interruptions from your children (if you have). Look directly into her eyes, and then ask a couple of questions to get her started. Comment only if she asks, or if you want to better understand something she just said. Show her that you enjoy hearing her talk, no matter how trivial (unimportant) the subject, because it helps you understand her better and love her more. Use facial expressions to show you really follow and empathize with what she is saying. You could tap her shoulders or hug her to show how you really care about what she is saying whiles she speaks. Intermittently, you could repeat things she says, nod or add up to complete statements she tries to make to let her know you are really attentive and following everything she says. This would surely create that peace and love you deserve in your home, whenever you get the privilege to get your wife sharing her innermost feelings or concerns you.
Improve your Relationship or Marriage today by deploying the use of the magic Listening more and talking less!

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)
Facebook: HK Ocran
Instagram: mr._hko
Web: hkodaily.health.blog
Koenzanews.com

“Life is difficult, Life is not fair, Life is wicked, Life is painful; Life is this and Life is that.” These and many more about Life that people grumble about, which causes anxieties and deep sorrow are basically as a result of their memory. People are busily battling problems, which are only a delusion of their psychological framework, not Life. For instance, when one cries out and gets depressed that Life is wicked or Life is difficult, most often, you would realize that it is that part of the memory which is anxious or angry or afraid of what happened yesterday or would happen in the future. Nothing more. Their real Life is free, but they are overly perturbed about and entangled with what happened yesterday or what is about to or possible to happen tomorrow. Hence, most people suffer their memory, not life. If we are able to live fully the present moment, we would realize that we wouldn’t be overly anxious about anything at all. We would be able to live freely and escape our memory. We need to burn out, as it were, all of our memories, regarding the past and the future, then we would realize how simple and easy flowing Life originally is.
Sometimes, one could be very happy, however, as soon as a thought fills their memory, their faces contort and get sad. That explains that they are not suffering life itself but their memory.
If we master the art of constantly burning the contents of the memory regarding the past or the future, there would be nothing else left to suffer. Life would be presently refreshing.

The next time you grumble about life, know that it’s not necessarily a reality about Life, it’s your agitated memory. Burn all excesses of the memory, free your mind of regrets, fear, vengeance and all sort of anxieties and your real life would be illuminated!

Mr. Hko (Writer and Coach)
Facebook : HK Ocran
Instagram: mr._hko
Web : hkodaily.health.blog
Koenzanews.com