In most cases, it’s things like toxicity, cheating, addiction, lies, and a lack of normal communication that cause a couple to break up. However, sometimes the reasons for a split aren’t that obvious since we get too carried away with things to notice them. A person may have no bad habits and be healthy psychologically with a great appearance but the relationship can still develop a harsh crack after the first serious quarrel.
When we are newly coupled up, we tend to overlook some flaws, hoping things would change as time goes on. But once you get real about your relationship and consider it for all that it is – and all that it isn’t – some issues are just too serious to overlook.
Below, are 16 red flags that should be a cause for concern in any relationship.
- THEY CHEAT ON YOU.
Leave. Seriously, get out! They’ll do it again, and even if they don’t, you deserve someone who would never violate your trust and risk your relationship like that.
- THEY ONLY WANT MORE SÉX WITHOUT ANY INTIMACY
Most people think that a regular séx with your partner means a healthy relationship, but not always. Instead, “emotional, connected séx” likens to a healthy relationship. If you’ve fallen in love with the wrong person, you may have the idea that having more séx is the key to keeping your relationship alive. Many couples unconsciously switch from séx with an emotional connection to séx for necessity. If it becomes something you pencil into your agenda, it’s no longer an act of love but a ‘to-do.’ If sex is the only thing keeping the two of you together, that’s a sign you may be with the wrong one.
- YOUR OPINION DOESN’T MATTER
It all starts with small things like choosing a restaurant for a date, deciding on what to eat for dinner, or which movie to watch at the theatre. In a toxic relationship, you’ll never be asked — the partner will make reservations at a restaurant themselves and buy tickets for the latest thriller without inquiring about what you want to do. Your partner assumes that they know everything better while you don’t know anything by default. It can look like they’re being caring as if they’re protecting you from having to make decisions. But the truth is, you don’t have any right to speak out.
Unfortunately, the situation will worsen over time. Your partner will choose a new apartment by themselves in the city or they’ll choose what to name your first child. It’s quite difficult to make this kind of partner listen to your opinions.
- YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE TO MAKE YOUR PARTNER HAPPY.
We all change a bit when we’re exposed to a new partner and their tastes — you have to watch an entire season of a particular movie because your boyfriend loves it or attempt to go vegetarian for a few months because your girlfriend has been one for years. It only becomes a real issue when you feel the need to change who you are at your core to satisfy your partner.
It’s a definite problem when you find yourself molding your values, opinions, and even your clothing style to suit your partner. If you have to think twice before you say a particular word because you feel like your partner is grading you, it might be time to let the relationship go.
- THEY ENJOY HAVING THINGS GO THEIR WAY.
If you have a partner that is a bit selfish and has to have their way all the time, you may be with someone who has not grown up sufficiently enough to be in a relationship. A healthy relationship with the right person is one where there’s compromise. You should be able to feel like your voice and your opinions truly matter to them. If you don’t, you might have fallen for someone who’s all wrong for you because they don’t respect you enough to see you as an equal.
- THEY DON’T TRY TO GET ALONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Your partner doesn’t have to be besties with your besties, but they should make a serious effort to get along with the people who are important to you. And they should want to introduce you to their family and friends as well. If your friends and family don’t have heart-eyes for them, they might be picking up on red flags that you’re too hard to see.
- YOU’VE NEVER MET THEIR FRIENDS.
In all the time you’ve spent together, you’ve heard countless cheerful stories about your partner’s friends. If you’ve been dating for a while and still haven’t met their friends, that’s pretty suspicious. Your partner may not mean to hide you away, but if they make up flimsy excuses when you tell them you’d love to meet their friends, it might be a sign something’s not right.
- YOUR PARTNER ISN’T THE TYPE THAT APOLOGIZES
It’s important to remember that all couples get into disputes. But how you choose to respond to each other at the moment can determine whether your relationship is right for you or not. If your partner does or says something that hurts you deeply and is unable to apologize, this is a sign that they are uncomfortable admitting any wrongdoing.
Saying “I’m sorry” is so simple and shows that you can take responsibility for your actions. ‘Without accountability, there can be no improvement.’ If you’re with someone who can’t say sorry after doing something hurtful, you might have fallen in love with someone who’s possibly immature and most likely not right for you long-term.
- THEY THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES arou.nd THEM.
If it seems like your partner is more interested in how you fit in their world than they are with your individual needs, you might be dating the wrong person.
Even though you just went to his parent’s house the previous year, he gets upset when you suggest visiting your parents this year. Even though she knows you haven’t had a night out with the guys in over a month because work’s been so busy, she hurls a fit because you’re not spending time with her. If your partner’s words and actions scream, “ME-ME-ME,” you should find someone who appreciates your needs and not only theirs.
- THEY DON’T SUPPORT YOUR GOALS
You may talk about your big dreams of running your own company one day and they laugh you off like they don’t believe you can do it. That’s outrageous! In the long run, you’ll be happiest and most successful with someone who has total faith in your abilities by your side. If your partner is always shooting down your goals, they might just be insecure about their future. But that’s no reason for them to bring you down. Whoever you date should believe in you and support your dreams and ambitions.
- YOUR PARTNER MAKES ALL OF THE BIG RELATIONSHIP DECISIONS.
You only get together when it’s convenient for your boyfriend and only hang out with his family and friends. You’ve been to all of your girlfriend’s work functions and friends’ parties, but have stopped inviting her to any social gathering you attend – she’s made it crystal clear she’s not interested.
If your partner is calling all the shots and you’re just following their lead, desperate for a few crumbs, it might be time to reanalyze the relationship.
- THEY THREATEN TO BREAK UP WITH YOU ALL THE TIME.
This is emotionally manipulative behavior. You shouldn’t have to go through life flinching every time you say or do anything, worrying that your partner is going to drop you for good. You should feel secure in your relationship and comfortable enough to be yourself around your partner, not walking on eggshells constantly.
- THEY ARE EXCESSIVELY JEALOUS
If your partner can’t bear the thought of you not being by their side, you need to rethink that relationship.
A partner who insists on being hyper-close and doing everything together – or doesn’t allow you to be by yourself and is constantly monitoring or questioning your whereabouts and intentions; is indicative of a toxic relationship.
- YOU FEEL VERY INSECURE
When you’re in a healthy relationship, there’s a significant back-and-forth where you’re complimenting each other, bringing out the best in each other, and letting each other know how you both care about each other. There’s not a lot of this going on in a toxic relationship. So if you’re in a constant state of insecurity around your person, you are not in a healthy relationship. Period!
- THEY NEVER COMPLIMENT YOU
Even shy or tolerant people can open up every once in a while to say nobody makes them laugh as you do, or that you look like a freaking supermodel in that dress. Your partner doesn’t need to suck up all over you every second of every day, but a compliment every once in a while is nice to hear and it’s pretty standard in a relationship.
- THEY DON’T LISTEN TO YOU
If your partner is always waiting for their turn to speak, you might be dating the wrong person.
They always go off on digressions about their day at work but never seem interested in yours. They always suggest where they’d like to go, but never seem to care what you think. If your partner does a whole lot of speaking (but never listens), you might want to find someone not so self-centered to share your life with.
- THEY DON’T BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU
The best you could be is someone who is confident and is a lot of fun and doesn’t have trust issues. But if you become the opposite of that when you’re around your partner — you have low self-esteem, you don’t want to do fun things, you’re distrusting everything they say, you might need to quit the relationship.
- YOUR PARTNER CONTROLS WHO YOU SEE AND WHAT YOU DO
This might be the biggest red flag of all. If you find that your partner is controlling your time with friends or family, your finances, clothing choices, or how much makeup you wear, this is something to take very seriously.
Have you already met people like this? What other signs might indicate that you’re with the wrong partner? I’d be happy to hear from you in the comments!
The Life - Mr. Hko 