A LASTING MARRIAGE
It takes about 10 – 20 years to Stabilize a marriage. That means that you have many years “to court (study each other) in the marriage”. What it means is that, “you never really knew each other before and right after marriage, irrespective of the tenure of the dating and courtship.”
That familiarity mix starts right after marriage. So you see why you should never embrace the perception and expectation of: “I will be happy immediately (if) I marry.”
Marriage (lasting marriages) rather starts on a note of disappointment, incessant quarrels, misunderstandings and other consequential background (family and mode of raising) disparities as such. Not forgetting unforseen occurrences in life that we (as partners) may encounter.
However, serious physical and emotional abuse shouldn’t be overlooked. Even with those, remember you have a decade or two to endure in order to firmly establish your marriage and family.
What you perceive to be a challenge and a serious problem may not be so some few years to come – people change, so do circumstances. What is needed in marriage is Love and Longsuffering (Endurance)
Never ever create expectations (personal ideas of what you want, think, hear or see around you) in marriage – In the area of sex, respect, headship (of a man), decision making, finances, temperaments, tastes and preferences and so on. Just resonate with your partner and give more love. Remember, things
“mix well do not slacken or die – whatever (love / marriage) dies, was not mixed equally (John Donne)
After that period of endurance and exhibition of love to cover our partner’s [sins and imperfections], then shall we start to enjoy marriage and understand the true meaning and foundation of marriage and family life.
- – Mr. Hko –
The Life - Mr. Hko 