Whether a marriage will last or not depends on the foundation laid and the motives of both partners involved . Marriage, unlike dating, has more to do with responsibilities than feelings. Why? Because feelings stems from our senses. So it may be what we saw, what we smelled, what we heard, what we touched, what we “tasted” ect., that resulted to how we begun to feel about a person. That feeling, is most often mistaken to be Love. No, it isn’t. It’s a response of our senses. This feeling is equal to passion. We display a lot of passion (feeling) when we meet a person for the first time and begin to date them. This passion blinds us and we forget to learn all the responsibilities dating couples should exhibit before marriage which are imperative in marriage proper. Remember, Marriage has got a lot to do with responsibilities than feelings (passion). Even though a little of passion is needed, marriages based mostly on that destroy in the event of dead (failed) passion (feeling) perhaps due to old age (beauty diminishes), accidents, sickness (may smell) , disinterest, etc. However, Responsibilities never die. They remain till dust settles (death). That is the essence of Marriage.
Furthermore, any one who wishes to enter into the institution of Marriage should have the knowledge above. He or she should cage every passion (feeling/emition) so to speak. When feelings (passion or emotions) are very high, a dating couple is tempted to dwell on the senses and make serious mistakes such as Sex with the partner, uncontrolled anger, jealousy, enviness etc. So it is very important to cage all emotions. If we cage an emotion (feeling/passion) such as Sex, we build trust and respect. It reduces unnecessary jealousy and decrease Insecurity. If you start preparation to marriage with sex (passion, feelings or emotions), it destroys trust and respect. If care is not taken, sex would now be what the couple may concentrate on and forget about the most important things like learning to communicate, properly learning the likes and dislikes of each partner, learning forgiveness, knowing each other’s family well and sharing of goals and ways to achieve them, and many other important things. So learn to keep all emotions caged and let responsibility and being responsible fill your mind through till marriage and beyond.
SKEPTICISM (DOUBTS) – The Two Sides of a Coin
Another important reminder to would be couples is to ironically “release” all Skepticism (Doubts) before concenting to marry.
Yes Release (put away completely) doubts. Have full trust for your partner, and never doubt them. This is the only way to increase Love and to create happiness between you two when you finally marry without unnecessary suspicion and Insecurities.
On the other side of the Coin, you must Release (put to play or exercise) Skepticism (doubt) before you finally settle on the decision to marry your partner – yes don’t believe everything. Know that with dating and courtship, most people pretend to get what they want(marriage). So you must be very observant and smart so as to identify serious red flags to help conclude on matters.
So you see, You need to “Release” Doubts and skepticism in all two ways as seen on both sides of the same coin.
Of course other factors aside what has been discussed in this article should also be taken into consideration before making a permanent decision on marriage.
In a nutshell, Before one marries, he or she should solidly base the Marriage decision on mutual desire to be responsible to each other, and allow the growth and well being of each other without prejudice or selfishness based on emotions or passions. There should be enough trust for each other whiles being observant at the same time, yes being observant to identify flaws and to make a perpetually decision on whether to marry that particular person or not.
Mr. Hko (Grammarian, Counselor)
The Life - Mr. Hko 