Far too often we talk about sex as simply a physical act. A way to scratch an itch, “get off,” or release some building sexual tension. Marriage partners or people in Relationships may cheat on their wives by paying for sexual pleasures with another woman and this is becoming a fast moving trend.
But, of course, sex can be so much more than that. In the context of a consensual partnership, sex can be a way to experience closeness and connection, a way to express love and affection, a way to tap into a more sensual and playful side of ourselves, and perhaps even a way to escape the demands and stresses of Relationship and life in general, for a few moments. The following are some of the reasons why some men (married or unmarried) pay for sex.
- An Agreement to Stay Without Sex Until Marriage
As a form of satisfying their sexual desire and staying true to their platonic relationship with their partners, men pay for sex to stay “faithful” in the eyes of their partners and to discover themselves sexually. Among other reasons, including religious reasons a courting couple may decide to stay platonic until marriage. Most men in such Relationships secretly pay to have sex with other women or even sex workers.
2. Losing One’s Virginity
Some young man who are inexperienced in sex (virgins) may pay for sex to satisfy the desire to know all what sex is about. In that sense, they are paying for sex as a means of losing their virginity.
These men tend to describe being a virgin as something negative or embarrassing. Whether they are in their late teens or early twenties, these men feel they are too old to be a virgin and wished to rid themselves of the title.
These men typically describe feeling shy and nervous when talking to or approaching women “in real life.” They view paid sex as a space where they could overcome their insecurities and low self-esteem and sidestep their awkwardness in approaching women, while still being able to lose their virginity.
3. Removing Rejection
Some men describe feeling immense pressure when dating, in which the first sexual encounter felt like a performance that could either make things more serious or end a relationship altogether. (The lady might be disappointed in the poor sexual performance of the man)
These men describe the fear that if a woman did not want to see him again after having sex, it was interpreted as being a result of a poor sexual performance on his end. In that sense, sex in the early stages of a relationship was riddled with the potential for rejection.
In contrast, paid sex allowed for a shared understanding of what was (and was not) going to follow sex. Both the man paying for sex and the sex worker understood the nature of the transaction and there were no misunderstandings about there being a potential future together.
4. Sexual Skills
There continues to be a dominant discourse about men needing to be sexually skilled and the ones who provide sexual pleasure. In the context of paid sex, however, men describe that these pressures decrease.
Further, men not only feel pressured to be sexually skilled with a sex worker, they indicated that the sex worker was expected to have sexual skills. Some men indicated that through paid sex, they actually could learn new sexual skills that they might use with their partners in the quest to satisfy their partners.
5. Sexually Starved Men
Some men could actually pay for sex if they are denied sex by their partners for a long time. To avoid flights and misunderstandings at home, they rather solve this by going elsewhere for sex.
6. Peer Influence
So many men engage in paid sex as a result of the influence of workmates, or close friends. They are brainwahsed into believing that there are more fun and adventure outside the scope of marriage or relationship. Hence, they decide to give it a try.
7. Navigating Sexual Difficulties such as Pregnancy and Infections
Paid sex is also described as giving some men a non-threatening context where they felt safe to engage in sex despite their sexual concerns, including the fear of being unable to have an erection.
In addition, men indicate that they feel more comfortable asking for specific needs to be met in order to have or maintain their erections without the feelings of vulnerability they might otherwise experience (or fear experiencing) with a partner.
They also feel that paid sex is more secured and that they would by no means contract STDs or get a paid sex worker pregnant.
8. As a Haven to manage Anxieties
There are a lot of pressures that accompany marriage and dating. Men see paid sex as a source of refuge to release stress and to manage anxieties just like some would opt to sit at a pub to drink and smoke their heads off.
This would serve as a check or indications for men who have sex with other women or sex workers and also women who might be wondering why their partners cheated or are cheating amongst other reasons.
The Life - Mr. Hko 