SHOULD I TELL MY HUSBAND I CHEATED?

SHOULD I TELL MY HUSBAND I CHEATED?

To discuss the issue of cheating, the causative factors and effects would take us a lifetime.
In fact, cheating is a very serious condition and the psychological consequence of a way a partner expresses dissatisfaction, depression or a lack of emotional need.
We should endeavor never to cheat or to be cheated on. Either way is very dangerous.

As a woman, cheating should be the last thing you would ever try on your partner.

What if you cheated?
Well, cheating does not mean only sex. If you entertain another man, chat him, kiss him or do anything intimately with another man other than your partner it is called cheating
Supposing you cheated by specifically having sexual intercourse with another man. What should you do? Should you report? Should you keep it as a secret forever?.If you are a married woman and due to some reasons you cheated on your partner, consider the following before you decide to spill the beans or not.

1. Do I have any chance of meeting this person again?
   If yes, then you must report, because another occurrence is possible.
   If no, then consider protecting the feeling of your husband (You sometimes become selfish if you report things like cheating because, reporting may set you free, but you put your husband in emotional torture or bondage, so think through well.) and keep it, and make sure you never repeat it. If there is a possibility of meeting him again, perhaps he is a workmate or neighbor, then you should seek serious help and confess so your husband will be on the lookout for you even though he might get hurt.
2. Is your guilt affecting your marriage and even killing you inside?

Excessive guilt means you have something you need to expose and clear in your head so you become happy yourself. You need to be sound in mind to carry out your duties as a married woman. Keeping this might just weigh you down and seeking sincere forgiveness from your spouse will help you. If you vow never to do it again and you are emotionally balanced then you might want to consider moving on without tormenting your husband with this selfish act. Never repeat it and mean it!!!

3. What caused it?
   If the cheating was as a result of your husband’s poor treatment of you or irresponsible life of your husband then you must tell him what his actions have led you to do. If the man is level headed, and mature, he will accept responsibility and try to treat you right. Never hide it. Because if you hide it, then he wouldn’t know what he is doing and the harm he is causing with his irresponsible lifestyle towards you. It may also be due to lack of sex. So, as you tell him, I believe he would sit up and do better.
4. Is it a weakness on your part or exclusively your own fault?

If it is your own desire, and your husband does whatever necessary as a husband an you still cheated, then you should report immediately. Weaknesses are with any human and we need help. Confession and sincere readiness to face the consequences for change are very important. You might seek the help of a mental health expert or a counselor so that you come off such unfortunate desire or situation.

No matter what you decide to do – to report or not, as soon as you cheat, your marriage will never be the same as you stand a high risk of losing your partner.No matter what challenges you face, be open and discuss with your partner, devoid of ego, so that you would come to a mutual concensus.Never hide a sincere need or feeling. Communication is everything in marriage

Mr. Hko (Grammarian, Counselor)