“THE SEEN ARE PASSIVE”

THE SEEN ARE PASSIVE

On a realistic account, if we really want to understand life, reduce painful regrets, improve our character and reputation, build a strong mind and heart, then it’s about time we paid much attention to “the things unseen”. First of all, what are the things “seen”?. The things said to be “seen” are what “seem” to make a man happy and live a fruitful life, they are seen ‘physically’ with our senses. As we place our hope in the things “seen”, we make so many mistakes and we end up being empty and unhappy. The things “seen”, of course are vital for life, but also poisoning and passive. That is where Balance becomes a very important Virtue. Let’s consider some of the things “seen”- Family, Personality, Money, Food, Marriage (husband/wife), Children, Shelter, Clothes, Cars, Technology (as a whole), work and position, and other visible things that “seem” to be tantamount to our very life. No! They can’t be equated to our life! They are not life! The can’t give life! They could be really disappointing! Most often than not! They, in themselves, cannot guarantee us happiness! Remember, Balance is a virtue if we find ourselves with the “seen”. Do not over rely on any of the “seens” that you see. “The things unseen” are our true worth as humans and the inner self (drive). Improvement and feeding of the inner self to actualise it, will make us truly happy irrespective of what the “seen” might pose or present to us.
Let’s take a ‘walk’ along the path of what life brings as we examine the following “seen” and “the unseen” things of life.

Family.
Family is everyone’s origin. With that in mind, anyone who originated from that becomes our family too. We can’t underestimate the importance and the benefits family might bring to us. Yet, remember, family is part of the “seen”. Balance is needed. In fact, You are alone. Yes you are! Does anyone in your family feels the way you feel? Do they feel hungry when you are? Do they die with us? Do we understand the point? Yes we are alone. Family adds nothing to our life. Family could be likened to the leaves on a tree. The leaves sprout from one tree (family) yet, some will wither, others will fall off, still, some too will be evergreen. Each leaf is alone. All things befall each leaf, not “the family of leaves “. We are alone. In case you get helped by a member of the family, you are still alone. They can give you food, yet they can’t quench your true hunger, they can advise you, yet they will not feel the pains too, they can educate you, yet they can’t decide for you. You are alone. You are with yourself. All solutions, comfort, happiness and satisfaction among others, lie in You. Never rely on anyone, they are just like you who needs someone to rely on. You see, you are alone! Start to find something that may not be visible (seen) on or around you. Delve deeper into your soul and find out who you really are. The answers are there. As you find the answers, live with that.

Personality.
If you think you are unique, then you are right, but if you think you are different, then what you see, to make that conclusion is a mirage. You are not different. Do not be engulfed in yourself to think that you are more different or more special than anything or anyone else. You are unique but you are not different. Never focus on the “seen” to believe you are different. Do you see your personality as calm, respectful, hardworking, persistent, and more? You may be unique in displaying those “personalities” but you are not different. Why? Many people are calm, respectful, etc., just like you. You are not different. What if you see your personality as, dumb, unattractive, shy, foolish, uncouth, and many other ills? Bear in mind you are not different. Do not be overly perturbed with the “seen”. Many others have that personality too. They still succeed in life. You are not different. As you realise you are not different, never be consumed by what you are or what you are not. Many are with you. Take solace in that. If they say you are disrespectful, this is not your personality, it’s just a momentary response and counter reactions of what happens to you. It becomes a behaviour or attitude. Behaviour and attitude is not fixed, you can change them; you can work on them. They are variables dependent on happenings around an individual.

Money.
Money is one sure “seen” that really makes us lose the real things (unseen) that bring happiness. Money is really good, and can, no doubt, make us happy. However, the happiness money brings is wavering. Let’s just create this analogy together. If Josiah has 10 dollars, which brings him 10 pounds of happiness, what will be the amount of happiness Josiah would have if he has 0 dollars? I know you have typically answered, “0 happiness “! That’s the way it is. That’s Life. If we keep constant hope of the happiness money brings, then our happiness becomes flinching. Our true and constant happiness, is not the “seen” (money) but the “unseen” (Contentment and long-suffering)

Food.
Research proves that the mind becomes numb or functionally derailed if we become full with “the seen” (food). When a person is on an empty stomach, there is no doubt his thinking capabilities, life reflection,focus, meditation and supplication increase! Try planning your next line of action in life with a full stomach and on an empty one and see the results/difference for yourself. Hunger is different from empty stomach. Hunger is a serious defect the body incurs as a result of lack of food and water for a long period of time, whereas an empty stomach is a deliberate decision not to put food in your stomach, especially when you don’t feel hungry. Yes, food cannot bring us happiness in themselves. They even sometimes, create defects and diseases in us. Yes. Food should be taken just for sustenance but not for survival. It can’t save us. Let’s reduce food intake!

Marriage.
Marrige is a “seen” element of life and it is not totally evil in itself but the bet of true happiness and satisfaction can never be exclusively placed on it. Marriage is quite a rollercoaster! A married person is more likely to experience all the psychological ills of life as compared to a free, single person .
You have a partner to be angry with, you have someone to be jealous of, you have someone to envy, you have a partner to fight with, you have someone to make blunders with, you have someone to kill (physically and emotionally).
You see, marriage gives us a constant person we can exhibit all follies of life on/with. That is marriage. Marriage also reduces self reliance and makes a person more prone to the disappointment, hurt and disgrace that being involved with a person bring. No wonder marriages fail with the slightest provocation or error ever. LOVE is what a man should marry. Yes Love is “unseen”, I mean true love. If We truly love, marriage will not necessarily be a requirement for happiness, but a mutual understanding of two people who exhibit self-reliance in unison. Your personality should not change after marriage. Your goals and aspirations in life must not be negatively affected due to marriage. If love leads, even though we are together as couples, we would still respect “our individual selves”.

Children.
Children are a blessing to us. Why? We are alive today because we were once children and we have transformed, as it were, into becoming who we are today. We were given forth to, by our parents. So, if we have children, then in effect, we are recreating ourselves to “read this message” in case we are no more.
Having said that, children (seen) cannot bring to us total happiness. We are rather obliged to make them happy forever. We don’t have any solid guarantee that they will take care of us and make us happy. We are bound to face great disappointments if our only hope of happiness is for our children to grow up to take care of us.
Children are posterity and we are here to only prepare them for that. If we rather fix our minds on the “unseen”, that is, the inner satisfaction of bringing out our own image, and becoming useful with our existence with catering for them (many other activities make our existence useful, like philanthropism, services, personal passions etc.), we wouldn’t expect anything “seen”(example children building for us) from the “seen”( our children).

Shelter, clothes, cars,technology, work and status in society.
Well, we need a bit of all those for substance in life, but not in “dosage” (quantity or quality) to make us truly happy. The world have really evolved into a period of constant transformation and revision of ideas and innovations. If we don’t ground our desires, we would never be satisfied with what we have. Focus on functionality rather than number and style of the things you have. That is what brings happiness. Worse, these things are “volatile”. They can deteriorate anytime with no notice beforehand. You are human, and you should know that your needs and wants will keep increasing. As you realise that, then you would have to rather increase the needs of the inner self (unseen). Know that you need to improve your confidence (unseen) , not fashionable clothes (seen), your skill (unsee) not latest cars, technology etc.,(seen), your capabilities (unseen), not your status or position at the work place (seen) and ultimately your self-worth.

When we carefully and meticulously reflect on theses simple, yet rewarding way of life, we would never be disappointed in life and we would never expect anything from anyone or anything. We would only accept what is and do our best with our inner self (unseen virtues, principles, strengths and capabilities, etc.) to achieve true happiness and satisfaction in life. The “seen” are indeed passive, don’t let them stress you, focus on, and develop the “unseen”, which is basically an intrinsic part of you. Love, because it’s your self value, not because of anything you see, be happy of who you are not because of what you have or what you have not. Remember, “the seen” is passive.

Mr.HKO (Grammarian and Counselor)
Basic Knowledge in Existential theory.